British erotica writer B.R. Lee compares the purchasing of coffee with carnal reading (yes, smut) and highlights some interesting points in the process. So, how do you take yours?
Life’s full of choices. But what if that included having to choose between coffee and sexy stories? Now, for anyone reading this whose initial thought is questioning why this is even being discussed, I’ll quickly explain. For a good few years now, when it comes to the pricing of erotica, there’s been the notion of comparing an erotic story to that of buying a cup of coffee – at least in relation to price. So, that’s the justification for employing some brain cells on the matter.
LET’S TALK NUMBERS
For some background and context, let’s consider some quick numbers. According to market research giants Mintel, the UK café and coffee shops market was valued at over £9 billion in 2023, and experiencing a 4% year-on-year increase in 2024. Coffee shops alone are reckoned to be generating £6.1 billion turnover in 2024/25 in the UK.
In terms of physical presence, Costa Coffee has somewhere in the region of 2,800 coffee shops in the UK and Ireland, plus more than 12,500 Express machines situated in convenience stores, petrol stations and elsewhere. Let’s not forget Starbucks too: according to ChatGPT, they have around 1,000 UK stores.
In short, there’s a lot of coffee being consumed here in Dear Old Blighty.
But there’s also a lot of smut being consumed.
Numbers are much less concrete to collate (for some fairly obvious reasons that you can either quickly identify or take an informed guess on), but in a June 2025 podcast episode of the Book Club Review, one of the guests mentioned that “in the UK apparently sales of romance fiction rose 110% between 2023 and 2024 and are now worth 53 million pounds annually.” Obviously we can’t be more specific as to how much of this can be classed as erotic fiction, so there’s an obvious caveat to be aware of.
Meanwhile, ChatGPT states that “Some reports suggest that the UK erotic fiction market could be worth around £200 million to £300 million annually”. There’s an obvious disparity between these numbers and the ones mentioned in the previous paragraph. The lack of clear demarcation lines between erotica and romance is undoubtedly a factor. Plus, there’s the usual sniggering and tittering that surrounds the issues. In marked contrast, nobody has to be coy or sensitive about what constitutes coffee, and how many beverages are sold. But I digress.
From a strict numerical standpoint, the two are not equal. But that’s not the issue. We all get that while coffee can be consumed at all times of the day and regardless of mood, the same isn’t true for smut. But they’re both products that took time and effort to produce and bring to market and (free erotica aside) command a price.
COFFEE’S QUICK – AND ONLY – FIX
While your cup of steaming black caffeine juice gives you a hit, there’s just a few hundred millilitres to be enjoyed for what you paid for. That’s it. And when it’s gone, it’s gone. In contrast, when you download a saucy story you can read it again and again and let your thoughts (and hands) go to such wonderful and wild places…again and again.
Don’t worry though. I’d never ask you to sacrifice your coffee for hot stories. Firstly, I’m not God Almighty. Secondly, I’m all too aware of the sheer number of people who enjoy their caffeine fix first thing in the day or during that post-lunch slump.
GETTING WHAT YOU PAID FOR?
But there’s another interesting comparison to be made between saucy stories and coffee (it could equally apply to wine, whisky or a host of other things, but you get the idea). And that’s quality. Do you get what you pay for? When you pay a decent amount, you can experience an exotic, intense, refined blend or single origin bean that’s worth every penny. And when you pay next to nothing, you may very well feel that dishwater has more flavour.
And it’s the same with saucy stories. When you get your purse out to buy the latest hot story or three (I know you raunchy readers have voracious appetites) you should have an expectation that when you’ve paid a decent amount – say the same as a decent coffee handed to you from your local barista – you get well conceived, and equally well written, stories to make your mind go places, and leave you with a wicked smile on your face.
Conversely, when you pay next to nothing, or nothing at all, you can find yourself trying to read tosh that’s riddled with typos, poor punctuation, and a bunch of other issues that leave you unsatisfied – in all senses. I like to think of myself as an erotic artisan, taking time and care to cultivate, create and refine one’s offerings to you and fellow spicy readers. Hand written sauciness with no AI generated smut in sight. And long may it continue: just like your enjoyment of quality red hot reads.
IS THE PRICE RIGHT?
When I first pondered this issue (and then subsequently posted it on Instagram), I’d originally considered it when a downloaded Kindle story AND a cup of coffee were similarly priced. But let’s look at the current state of affairs as post this on the Steamy website here. Since my first two stories were published in the spring of 2024, they’ve been priced at £3.99 each and I reckoned that was a comparable price to cups of coffee bought from cafes and coffee shops – at least back in September 2024. Fast forward to the last few days of 2025, and depending on the size and type of beverage, and whether it’s for consuming in-store or to go, the price can be edging closer to £6.00. That’s a lot of money for something that’s consumed once, and may give pleasure – physical and experiential (ambience of location etc.) – for that time and that time only.
As said earlier, making forensic comparisons between smutty stories and hot beverages isn’t a terribly good use of one’s time and/or brain cells. Although if I had to be pushed to give an opinion on things, I’d be questioning the pricing of the beverages rather than the hot stories. Who hasn’t felt these days that big food producers are taking consumers for fools, whether it’s due to shrinkflation, or simply the significant profit increases reported in recent years?
CONCLUSION
When all is said and done, I think the price of my stories is reasonable, considering production time and effort and market worth, not to mention giving the reader the opportunity to enjoy the stories – and themselves – many times over. Coffee can’t compete with that, nor in its pricing either. But to anyone questioning the price of hot short stories or naughty novellas while also indulging in buying coffee several times a week (whether you’re on your lunch or your morning commute into work for example), then you definitely can’t turn your nose up at erotica writers trying to earn an honest (if dirty) crust from selling their wicked wares at fairly sensible prices. What do you think? Hit me up on X or Instagram to give me your own thoughts on the matter.